Connecting to your older self

©Harli Marten
©Harli Marten


🕒 Reading time: 4 minutes


I honestly never thought that I would even make it to 30, due to the years of depression and issues I've had. Yet, here I am. A little beat up and bruised, but still able to laugh out loud every day. It got me thinking that I have a very good chance of actually reaching my retirement age. But who is she? And what does she need? Clearly, those questions are impossible to answer right now. However, I can start to get to know her and feel more prepared for when it's her time to shine. 


A stranger we are not ready to meet

We are living in the era of being and becoming more self-aware. We spend time working on healing from our trauma, bonding with our inner child, concurring our inner critic, and much more.

But why is it that we are never really focused on our older selves?

Becoming old is often seen as something we will deal with when we get there.


But it's not something. Nor is it an event. It's someone. Someone who may feel like a complete stranger to us. Someone we might fear, because the older they are, the more they visibly look like "The end is near".


We spend serious money every year on beauty products trying to suppress the reality of becoming older. And we nervously laugh and act insulted when asked about our age. However, no matter how hard you fight this reality, your knees and back will always catch up with you.

It's actually quite sad because the only other option you have besides aging is dying young.


"Do not regret growing older. It's a privilege denied to many" - Unknown

How to connect with them

Write about your life

As a writer, I would obviously suggest to write to them. So buy yourself a beautiful and sturdy notebook and start writing.

Write letters to your older self as a way to connect with them. Tell stories about your adventures and loved ones and answer some interesting questions. Don't forget to put the date on every page.


Throughout the years you will change a lot, and this way you will have a nice way to follow your own progress and remember your life.

My beautiful and sturdy notebook
My beautiful and sturdy notebook


 Plan ahead

Visualize the life you would want for them and plan accordingly. Build a safety net for your older self.

Do not rely on systems from governments to simply be there when you need, because they most likely won't be.

You are in your prime years and you are completely responsible for how your older self will live. Not your future children, or your 3rd spouse. You.

Therefore, get your life insurance in order, save for your retirement, invest, and take care of your health physically as well as mentally.


A loving relationship across time

Not making it to old age, is a very real possibility. This means that being able to meet your older self, is a blessing in itself. It is a testament to the years you've battled and fought for your life.


Wrinkles and retirement are the only things we tend to think about when we think of our older selves, but they are our final forms on earth. They deserve a lot more attention, care, and love. And wouldn't it be nice to know that once you are older, you can look back and realize that someone, all those years ago, thought of you and cared about your wellbeing?

When you finally arrive, you want to be able to sit down and relax. And you will be able to because everything has already been taken care of.


We shouldn't look at our older selves as an enemy that keeps stealing our best years at rapid speed. Rather, prepare to meet a long-time friend you care about and know that they care about and love you too.


Talk to you soon!



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