People tend to scream 'I hate you', but whisper 'I love you' to someone. What is that feeling that shames us into thinking it is weird to let someone know that we do admire them.
We often admire people when they've passed away. We come together and talk about the past and life of this person. And how great he or she was. But why is it that we struggle to tell people these same things while they are still with us.
To me, admiration means that I respect that person at where they stand in life and how they handle it. And I aspire to have certain qualities that they have.
Two examples of people I admire are:
- My younger sister who's currently balancing going to school, an internship, work and a social life.
- The mailman who always smiles and remains kind no matter how terrible the weather is.
They both inspire me to be disciplined in whatever I'm doing in my life.
Admiration can easily spiral into infatuation, but also envy.
Sometimes we might even be influenced by others to keep quiet.
"Well, don't tell him that, it might go to his head!"
But can it really be wrong, if it's sincere?
Lots of people want you to do well, but not great.
Meanwhile they admire you in silence, because they believe you don't deserve to hear it.
So, I dare you to tell more people that you admire them and what impact they have on you. It could be something as small as writing a note or during a conversation.
Be spontaneous and sincere. And try to not fear their reaction.
The first time I saw him, our eyes met.
He looked away and I looked down. I thought he was very attractive.
"Way too handsome to be single", I thought to myself.
So I dismissed him in my head and walked past him.
Later that day I ended up saying something funny and I noticed him laughing out loud. Turned out, we had the same type of humor. And after hours of simply being around eachother and occasionally making eye contact, we finally spoke. And it felt natural. My nerves were gone and it felt like I knew him forever.
This mysterious man turned into my type of person, and from that moment on I was hooked. And so was he.
I do believe most attraction is partially sexual tension. You can feel your body reacting to that person. And you notice that you want to be part of their energy.
Your mind and body are naturally wired to find you a mate. So once in a while you find yourself being attracted to someone. It does not mean that you have to act on it, unless you want to. Or you might already have a partner. But it's a chemical reaction in your brain.
The sound of their voice, the way someone smells, their posture, the color of their eyes and so much more, could be ways to notice a single person from a crowd. The rest is mental stimulation.
Do they have the same morals and beliefs as you?
What is their personality like?
Are you both on the same level, spiritually, mentally and maybe even educationally?
I've had a few moments that I would talk to someone I was initially attracted to, but the moment they opened their mouth, I would instantly regret it. The connection was instantly gone.
Or what about the not so cute guy or girl who is absolutely fascinating to listen to.
But somehow a lot of people are attracted to the 'bad boy/girl' type. Doing something or being around someone who is risky, somehow seems like fun in the moment. But could turn out detrimental afterwards.
They are often people who look appealing and use their looks to manipulate others by pretending to care. Maybe you even believed that you were 'the one' who was able to change them.
Many of us dream of finding that perfect combination of partner and best friend, in one person. You see it all the time in movies. A friend who would magically turn into the partner of their dreams, after being ignored most of the movie. But in reality it's a lot more complicated.
A couple of years ago I walked into a friends house and found myself standing in the middle of a room with dimmed light and surrounded by lighted candles. After a two year friendship, it did come as a shock to me, and I did end the friendship afterwards, because I felt too uncomfortable.
But ofcourse there have been many succesful relationships between people who were friends first. But I do believe that two friends would have had some type of attraction before, to eventually come to that point. Either consciously or unconsciously. And sometimes others notice it long before you do.
I believe attraction is a mixture of physical attraction and mental signs you pick up and feel related to. When you feel a connection with someone, without being nervous around them, it might be a sign that your intuition agrees with you.
And that person might be the one for you.
I have had the opportunity to talk to a stranger for thirty minutes and tell him my story.
He was around my age and was dealt a hand of cards similiar to mine. I instantly felt connected to him. Being able to relate to the same heartaque, it gives you an instant feeling of trust and you feel safe around this person. I can be myself around you.
While I was telling my story, he never really looked at me, but I could literally feel him physically reacting to my story as he was reliving it himself.
He could not sit stil. The few times he did look at me was to ask a question to which it felt like he was trying to find his own answers through me. It felt like I've known him for years.
When you have a connection with someone you start imitating what they are doing and vice versa.
He asked me my name and repeated it to himself as if he didn't want to forget it.
I immediately forgot his, as I almost always do when meeting someone for the first time. And I felt way too ashamed to ask for his. The thirty minutes went by so quickly, that when he left, I felt alone.
I did feel the urge to ask for his name again, but I chose to remain professional.
Inbetween the conversations I had that day, I'd catch myself looking around to see if he would still be there. I saw him a few times and everytime he smiled at me. I can't remember his name, but I will never forget his face though.
He's one of the closest I've been with anyone.
On a daily basis we're often being confronted with choices that we have to make.
A lot of the time we base our choices on the level of confidence we have.
Someone who is very confident will be more likely to step out of his box and choose to be more adventurous.
They believe that they can handle whatever comes with making their decision. While someone with low confidence would maybe not be so daring.
Comfort is an illusion. For example.
You might believe you finally found that steady job that pays good money.
And even though it doesn't really fit you, somehow you make it work anyway. But the long days become weeks and the stress becomes worse.
After a while you become ill and your employer, that you gave so much of your time to, will search for the smallest error in the law and use it to get rid of you.
Ofcourse it doesn't have to be this complicated.
It can also be as simple as having a bad day and going to the store and buying your favourite comfort food. While you're eating it feels amazing. But a few weeks in, you've gained a few pounds. And it even makes you feel worse.
Make sure that when you do make a decision, you're aware of it.
Make a conscious decision about everything you do.
Don't say yes immediately, but take a moment to think about it. This will help you to stay close to yourself.
But let's be honest. Sometimes we don't have the luxury to choose and we just have to do what's necessary in that moment.
Just make sure that other parts of your life are filled with what you want.
If you choose a job you don't really enjoy, do some voluntary work that you would also benefit from or a hobby that you love.
Just try to not get comfortable with having less then you deserve.
Also realize a lot of your dreams can only be realized by doing something or a number of things that are uncomfortable. Like learning to speak publicly etc.
Sooner or later you're going to be uncomfortable anyway.
That might as well be while trying to achieve the life goals you have set for yourself.
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