It's important to take your time and think about who and what adds to your life. Just the thought of being able to lose anyone or anything we care about scares us and we often choose to ignore
that possibility. We expect people to know that we love them and that we are grateful for everything we have.
But when do we take time out of our day to really absorb that feeling?
We could lose everything in a matter of seconds and refusing to not think about it will not change the outcome. Instead, this could lead to words left unsaid.
I've once read a story that a woman had written about the time her toddler had a complete meltdown in the middle of a store and she was unable to calm him. She felt embarrassed. Most people were staring at her with disgust because it seemed like she couldn't handle her child. Then one person came up to her and said: "Keep going you are doing the best you can" That gave her the strength she needed to finish her grocery shopping and take her child home.
You have the power to instantly make someone's life better, even those of complete strangers. You can influence the rest of their day and possibly how they treat others after you.
And the best thing about expressing gratitude is that it works both ways. It's impossible to feel less for giving a meaningful gesture to someone.
The amount of so-called hate that goes around on social media towards complete strangers is ridiculous. If you're able to publicly spread hate, you are unable to be happy in your own life.
But being grateful does not come naturally to us. We teach our children to say "thank you" but we need to keep teaching ourselves as well.
People who are ungrateful often live an unhappy life because they are always wishing for things to be better. A better job, a bigger house and the perfect partner, while having a job, a house and a partner who loves them.
Being grateful is a decision you make each day. It's cherishing the value of someone or something that has a great impact on your life.
• Gratitude is valuing our parents right now because one day you won't be able to look them in the eyes, hug them or even speak to them.
• It's being able to appreciate what your body can do instead of what it can't.
• It's having a roof over your head.
• It's appreciating your favorite spot in nature because one day there will be a building on top of it.
• It's being able to live in a free country.
• It's taking a breath while someone else is taking their last.
To live a fulfilled life you have to appreciate where you are now so you can attract more.
Gratitude has to do with the law of attraction; what you focus on consciously, you will attract subconsciously. If you choose to be in a grateful state of mind, you will attract more situations that will enhance that feeling. And you will start to find a solution to every problem instead of the other way around.
Life happens and we have to deal with negative experiences. And this might take some time and practice but try to see the good in every situation.
If you've lost your job you can choose to feel defeated and stay that way or you can be grateful for the opportunity to figure out what job would fit you perfectly.
A horrible past could make you feel like you're a victim of your circumstances who has been set up for failure from the start. Or you could turn your experiences into life lessons for yourself and others.
Being in the moment and thinking about the great things and people in your life makes you happy and inspires you to do better.
But you know what feels even better? Expressing gratitude towards the people you love and seeing their reaction.
Put your ego aside and tell them how grateful you are for their life.
It might feel awkward in the beginning but make it a habit. With the same honesty you would tell your kids you love them, say it to your friends, your family and everyone who matters to you. The more you do, the better their life and yours will become.
Nowadays we spread the word hate around like it's normal. I'm a firm believer of what you say, you will become.
And that you should always be cautious with what you say to yourself and to someone else.
"Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die".
This is a quote that has really stuck with me.
I've hated a few people in my lifetime. And I'm sure most of you would understand why, but that's not the point.
I've been absolutely furious about another persons existence. And after a while, I started to change for the worse.
It starts to affect your body as well as your mental health. You might get headaques, your heart rate increases, you're always on edge and your stress level is higher.
You become unreasonable, desensitized and you are unable to think clearly. And before you know it, you also starting to hate yourself.
How do you feel after you've told yourself that, you hate yourself? Do you feel empowered? Ofcourse not. By telling yourself that, you are limiting your own chances.
Hate of self is very complicated. Many of us don't even know why we direct hate towards ourselves. A lot of the times it's superficial.
They might not like how they look or what they have done.
You can hate your actions, because your actions do not have to define you. You can change them at any moment. For example:
"I hate being a bully" - the word 'being' referes to something that you believe you are.
"I hate that I have bullied.." - using the words 'I have', referes to an action you did.
You can change your action, you cannot change your being. So it's very important to be cautious with how you speak to yourself.
Hating entire groups of people is mostly based on ignorance. And could probably be resolved if you would speak with one of them, instead of being influenced by others. If you had a bad experience with anyone from that group, it is more understandable. But that doesn't take away the fact that hating is still your choice.
At the end of the day, the hate you carry, only affects you. And if you do choose to act out your hate, the consequences are for yourself.
You blaming others for your misfortunes, will only give you an excuse to not feel responsible for your own life.
This took me a while to understand.
Hate is a feeling, and you can always alter your feelings, even though you feel like you can't.
An example could be trying to change the word hate into dislike.
"I strongly dislike that persons belief or lifestyle, but as long as it doesn't affect me, it's not my problem".
It puts some distance between you and someone else.
You don't have to like it or even accept it, but you're also not suffering because of it.
Personally I pretend to be indifferent for a few reasons.
Most of the time I use it to avoid having discussions, because I don't like confrontation.
I only participate if it's mandatory for school or a work meeting.
People like to hear themselves speak, while sharing their opinions with others. And they often only listen to reply.
So unless it's a friend or family member, I don't feel the need to participate.
I also tend to be indifferent when I give up on someone.
When I feel like I've done my part investing in the relationship.
But if I notice that someone else isn't as invested as I am, I'll eventually give up and pretend to not care, because it's too emotionally draining.
Since worrying and contemplating takes up a big part of my mind, I have to seperate myself from them.
And decide to love them from a distance.
Examples of such relationships could be;
- a parent who's not being active in your life
- an addict who refuses treatment
- someone who doesn't respect you
Sometimes indifference is a necessity for your own mental health.
Because everytime you accept something you're against, you lose a part of yourself.
Since I've mentioned mental health, indifference could also be a sign of depression. They might not care about their life anymore.
Perhaps lack motivation to start with anything or starting over. And they become a victim of everything life throws at them.
If you know someone who's behaving like this, try to find that one thing that sparks them.
What do they love to talk about? And from there you can try to motivate them.
And sometimes, just listening is enough.
You can definitely be indifferent about things you're not interested in, like sports or reading.
But I do believe certain events could have an effect on everyone.
The reality of the situation could be too confronting or maybe too painful. So people switch to pretending to be indifferent. Because caring means taking action.
Indifference means that you either don't care or stopped caring.
And if you do care, take back your life and fight for what you want.
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