"As the world around us changes, people inherently do not"

We think of them as spoiled kids who get everything handed to them.
But the millennials are the first to go through the major changes we've had these past years. Like the arrival of the internet, and the huge supply of different kinds of studies.
Their parents and teachers never went through such drastic changes. So it's harder for them to keep up. And often they don't know how to handle certain situations either.

Children and teenagers are naturally selfish. They want whatever they want immediately, and we live in a world where we can get whatever we want delivered right at our doorstep. The instant gratification can be very addicting. And we as millennials are used to it. But a lot of factors in life, will not provide this feeling.

"Millennials lack work ethic! And they just want to travel the world."
I've heard this comment numerous times.
Some millennials may have more options than the previous generation. But travelling shouldn't be viewed as something 'lazy'. Travelling actually develops different kinds of skills that could definitely be useful in the future. Such as gaining more knowledge, people skills, organizing, independence and resistance.

But I also hear how people from older generations, pity us. Life used to be easier in their time. There was no social media that could capture your mistakes and cause potential harm.
And living expenses have been raised a lot since then, and many young people are forced to juggle school, internships, jobs and a social life.

The old formula of studying hard to secure a good job, doesn't work anymore. Right at this moment there are many people with great degrees, but there's a lack off job opportunities in their field.

I believe that we ask the wrong questions during their teenager years.
From a young age we are imprinted with the idea that more money means more happiness. Parents tell their kids to study for jobs that pay well.
Schools are focused on educating, teaching a trade. Not on the individual. And that's why I believe, many people will have a crisis later in life, like depression.

So how do we go about it?
Instead of trying to find out what you want to do, find out why you want to do it.
Ask yourself critical questions and find out what your talents are.

What if your child walks up to you and tells you that they want to become a lawyer?
The moment a child tells you what they want to become, ask critical questions. Not to discourage them, but to help them find their core values.

Is your child someone who stands up for others?
How do they express themselves?
Do they speak up when needed?

Help them find their talents, and then they might be a great lawyer later in life.
Be more connected. Help them find out who they are instead of living vicariously through them. Don't just ship them of to school. School doesn't know your child.

Also ask yourself these questions.
Find out why you dread going to work each day.
Because we spend most of our time working, it's important to know why you work, where you work.
It could very well be that your core values don't match, with the vision the company has.

Figuring out what your core values are and why you have them, is crucial to your happiness.
We like to seperate ourselves from others and distinguish generations.
As the world around us changes, people inherently do not.
We all strive to live a happy and fulfilled life. And we can.


"You might forget yourself"

Trying to do something meaningful for someone else could sometimes lead to dissapointment. Sometimes their reaction is not what you expected.

I love giving meaningful gifts. Something that someone really needs or wants and I know they would appreciate.
And I often wish, I was a little bit more crafty than I actually am.
I don't like buying random things.
Do not tell me to "just buy anything", because I will definitely spend hours and hours overthinking it.
I like giving others an experience, that would make them feel amazing in that moment. And that they may still remember in a few years.

But there's also a downside to wanting to please others. While you think of ways to make the experience even greater for them, you might forget yourself a little.
When there's a special occasion, and things don't go as smooth as you would like, it stings a bit more.
You feel your anger or dissapointment building up, but you won't allow it, because it is a special time and you're supposed to be happy.
But if you keep this up for years on end, you could start to resent any holiday.

After the holidays I always end up feeling empty, because I already gave so much of myself into planning and organizing.
Because I give so much of myself, I often think of leaving. Leaving for the holidays or my own birthday. Because I already know it's going to drain me. I know I need to set clear boundaries, but the moment an idea pops up in my head, I just keep going.
But hopefully one day, I find myself laying on a beach somewhere, completely stress-free.

I give a lot. And whilst I'm doing that, I tend to block any negative emotion I might have. I'm blocking myself from sensing anything negative, because I believe it should be all about the experience, and not my feelings. Just get over it and keep going. But if something goes wrong, it's quite difficult to simply shake it off. And you shouldn't.
Maybe someone did not have that reaction you would hope for. Or dinner did not turn out quite as good as you wanted.

Keep this in mind for the holidays and other special occasions. Make sure that what you are doing for someone else, is meaningful to yourself. Enjoy the process and dont be too hard on yourself. And if things do not go as planned, allow yourself to feel however you feel in that moment.
But always be responsible about your response.Take some time to yourself, and load that battery back up. And be sure to take life a little less serious. Note to self.


"I can only imagine that it was very difficult at times"

My first love.
When I look at her, I see a powerful soul wrapped up in a beautiful person.
She embodies everything I'd hope to be one day. Bold, straight to the point, confident.
And she has this strong and powerful voice, that I wish I would have.
After all those life battles, she is still standing strong.

I've noticed that when she enters a room, everyone looks at her. I always thought that it was, because she looked so radiant, but I think they actually feel her presence long before she walks in.

And I know she has struggled with being a mother. I can only imagine that it was very difficult at times. But right in this moment,
I am alive. Which means she never failed at being a great mother.

Now, after all these years with her, I realize how fragile she is. When I hug her I notice how small she actually is. She smells the same as always. And she still feels like home and safety.
But I do feel a slight panic coming up.
Now more than ever, I realize that my time with her is very limited. While my focus is on starting my own life and finding my path, she is growing older.

There's so much I want to do for her.
So much I want to give, even though she tells me my love is all she needs.
She deserves so much, and I hope that I have enough time to let her experience that. So that is one of the greatest goals I have in life.
Realizing my mother's dreams.

And from now on, I'll take care of her.


"And ofcourse, that's when I wake up"

Dreams always have this strange way of confusing you. Do I unknowingly want what's happening in this dream?
I trusted him and we became friends. He was wise, funny and charming. Could I trust him again? Despite all the events that previously happend years ago, I somehow let him into my house. Did I forgive him? And why the hell didn't I wake up?

My dreams about him used to be more complicated. I would always end up trapped in some kind of maze. The streets I used to cycle on, would all off a sudden turn into the most complicated maze and I felt like he was chasing me.
Wherever I went, he was.
This sick game in my head would continue until I'd wake up in full panic. It felt so real.

And a lot of the times it was real. I would always bump into him. When I went to certain stores close by his house, I would always rush myself. " Get in and get out, fast!". Then for some reason I would get distracted and all off a sudden my stomach would drop, because I knew he was around. The feeling of fear became worse and almost everytime I left the store, he would be right there in front of me. And forget seeing him from a distance. No. He would always almost literally bump into me.

It felt like life was playing a cruel joke on me. And I definitely don't believe in coincidences anymore. This happened at least ten times throughout the years in different places.
It didn't matter how random the days were. He would always be there.

This dream was so detailed, and it felt like I was looking at a movie of my own life, packed with lessons. The same techniques the predator used to get to me as a child, he used this time.
Only this time I was an adult. And a lot of them did not work on me.

I realized what he was doing and tried to put a stop to it. He told me he loved me. And I told him I loved him as a friend. As a child I saw him as a father figure. My age was the obvious problem then, but now I didn't have a valid reason. I just didn't want to.

But he was already in my house and my mom, the hero of my real life story wasn't there this time. Somehow he did leave, but wouldn't take no for an answer.
He would follow me around in cars and show up at my workplace.
Instead of hiding somewhere or calling my mom whilst cycling as fast as I could as a child, I found my own strength and stood up to him multiple times.
And ofcourse, that's when I wake up.

Moments like this are difficult to deal with, because your mind forces you to look at all of it. During the day I'm pretty much in control of my thoughts, but obviously not whilst being asleep.
I didnt wake up in full panic this time, just slightly nautious.
For my own peace of mind I'm going to assume he doesn't know where I live now. He probably doesn't.

And maybe this is just a confirmation that I've dealt with most of my past. That I do know how to defend myself and nothing like this will ever happen again.