The power of Comprehension

Comprehension is the ability and willingness to understand a person or a situation from their point of view. To be able to successfully communicate, both parties need to be able to feel, hear and sympathize with what the other person is saying.

Your level of comprehension can be measured through your personality, background, self-awareness, and your willingness to grow.

If you have a personality disorder, it could make it harder to be comprehensive or empathic. If that's the case, ask a professional to help you find ways to improve these aspects if possible.

• When you improve your comprehension, you improve the quality of your relationships. You are now able to have deeper connections with people because there’s less judgment.

• You will be able to access more of your emotions and be more in control of them.

• Listening with comprehension provides you with a broader view of the world, and develops more empathy towards all living things.

• You will become more empathic, because you are willing to listen to someone's personal experience, instead of assuming or taking over someone else’s opinion.

• You will be able to see where toxic people are coming from, but you are also very aware that they're not ready yet to do the work and that they're harmful.

• You are aware of the fact that you cannot reach someone on a different level of comprehension. And thus you choose not to spend your valuable time and energy on them.

• Listen with intention: When you choose to listen with intention to someone, you choose to be physically, mentally, and emotionally present for them. You listen with the intention to understand, instead of being defensive. Give them your undefined attention at that moment.

• When you are listening, remain in control of your emotions: When you listen to someone’s story, it could trigger your own emotions about that situation.  But when your emotions take over someone else’s story, it clouds your vision and they are left consoling you instead. It’s alright to show empathy for their situation but refrain from taking over the conversation, when they are opening up to you.

• Surround yourself with diversity: To become more empathic to people and their lives, you have to be around a diverse group of people with different backgrounds. If all your information comes from the media or sources outside your own experience, you’re much more prone to being biased and judgmental.

• Call yourself out: We as humans are not perfect and shouldn’t even strive to be. Therefore we might say or do things at times that are completely opposite of being comprehensive. Always be the one to call yourself out on your negative moments first.

• Be comprehensive and compassionate towards yourself: We let our minds run rapid with negativity. We scold ourselves for decisions we made when we were younger and didn't know any better. See your younger self as a part of you, that is very much still alive and is listening to everything you are saying. Apologize to them every time you blame them for something they weren't aware of at the time. And take accountability for the decisions you've made recently, but you aren’t pleased with. There's no need to beat yourself up about it because it already happened. And you can only control the present.

There is such a thing as being too comprehensive. Being too comprehensive will cloud your judgment on people who are important to you, but are also toxic. You’ll probably accept having toxic relationships because you think you can save or change them. Which isn’t your job and is very unhealthy for your overall health. You cannot afford to lose yourself by caring for someone else.

So while it’s important to care about others and their situations, there is a balance you need to achieve. Too much of anything is dangerous. And becoming a well-rounded person means you have to be able to balance everything.

Final thoughts  

As you can see, becoming more comprehensive has a lot to do with you. And that counts for everyone around you. If you feel like someone is unable or unwilling to understand you, it's because there's a lot of work that still has to be done within them. That is not your problem. And that is not your fight.